Confessions Pt 2

Well here we go again.  Another confessions post.  This past week was a really rough week.  Not diet wise...in fact, diet wise it went quite well.  However, spiritually, it was tough!  I knew the week was going to be hectic because I was asked to work everyday at my second job.  That would have put me at working about 63-64 hours for the week between the two jobs.  I was bracing myself for this when....Monday hit! And boy did it hit.  At my PRN job, one person was on vacation, one called in sick, and one person was stuck in Chicago due to weather.  That combined with schedule of over 200 patients equals one busy 4.5 hours.  Then I got to the hospital and found out that we are getting raises!  However, they are cutting our shift differential and our weekend differential.  After doing the math it turns out that anyone that gets shift diff is actually taking a pay cut...even with the raise.  :(   This was a huge hit to the gut.  This news right here is what I have been struggling a lot with lately.  My Spirit says to be thankful for the job that I have and not complain because even though this stinks, the Lord is in control and is my provider, not me.  But the fleshly side of me thinks this is a huge slap in the face.  Especially because we have been working really shorthanded with a large workload and now instead of being recognized for our efforts, we are getting docked in pay.  :(  

I shared both of the feelings I have because I want you to see the battle that I am in right now.  To be completely honest with you...I have allowed my fleshly thoughts to take over this week.  It has taken over so much so that I have had a very poor attitude and outlook at work.  I have grumbled to fellow coworkers, friends, and even family.  So to be frank....I have been sinning.  It wasn't until yesterday when the Lord completely opened my eyes and my ears to the things that were coming out of my mouth, that I realized how in the wrong I am.  How is my poor attitude being a Light for Him?  How is my complaining setting myself apart from unbelievers.  Instead I should be rejoicing in this trial.  James 1:2 says "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds."  Am I having joy in this trial? No, instead I am throwing a pity party.  What is wrong with me?!  Romans 8:28 says "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."  Am I trusting that the Lord is using this for my good and His glory?  No, no I'm not.  Again I say, what is wrong with me?!  

Today I was blessed with such a good conversation at church with a good friend of mine.  We were talking about this situation and she encouraged me so much by saying "it's times like this that we have to remember who we are working for."  DANG!!!!  She got me on that one.  Who am I working for?  Am I working for my employer?  No.  Am I working for myself?  No.  Am I working for a paycheck?  NO!  I am working for the Lord.  Everything I do should be for the Lord's glory.  Not my own.  So those times when I am feeling unappreciated, are not times to be sad and down and discontent.  They are times that should be spent working that much harder to make sure that glory is not given to me, but to the Lord.  When I am feeling unmotivated, that is the moment that I need to remember that I am not working for myself, but for the Lord.  I was super convicted this morning just thinking about what kind of testimony I was this week at work.  I know that it is going to be hard to be ok with this new change but, I know that with the Lord's help and with my mind set on Him, I can have a much better attitude that is more Christ like and less self-pitying. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

So there is my confession.  I have been struggling with having a poor attitude lately and a discontent heart at work.  

On the upside, I didn't end up having to work the 63 hours because I got the stomach flu for 2 of those days.  Downside to the stomach flu....you feel like death.  Upside to the stomach flu...lost 5 lbs!  

Have a great week!  Here's to a better attitude this week!

Also....here's a picture of one of my favorite things to brighten your day!